Handling Loss

Posted By Clare on Mar 14, 2016 | 0 comments


My family went through a difficult change with the loss of my Grandma last week. Losing someone you love is a hardship that can barely be put into words. I think the hardest part for me was seeing the family around me suffer in their sadness.

It was interesting to watch how each person dealt with it a bit differently. As I observed each of my family member’s behaviors, I decided to turn inward and take a look at how I was dealing with it myself. What I noticed didn’t totally surprise me. I had taken a moment to be sad for myself and then set that sadness aside so I could be there to help my family feel better. I knew that if I showed strength and support that my energy would radiate.

So, why didn’t this observation surprise me?

Two reasons:

1. It’s a classic codependent tendency

2. I’ve been doing it my whole life.

The difference now is that I have learned to turn this into a positive characteristic.

When I used to do this, those suppressed emotions never got their chance to surface, so I was never able to truly heal. I wasn’t aware that this process was happening with me. It was more of an autopilot situation used as a protective mechanism.

Being able to self reflect has been crucial in my transformation. In this particular situation, I was able to acknowledge my emotions and rather than suppress them or let them take over, I made a conscious decision of how I wanted to take care of them.

Taking the time to self reflect allowed me to understand what works best for me during my healing process. I enjoy being a source of comfort for my family. To help me be that type of support, I prefer to embrace my sad emotions alone or in more of a one-on-one setting rather than in a group setting.

The best part about transformation is that you don’t have to change who you are, you just have to change how you perceive yourself.

Have a wonderful week everyone!

Clare

Looking for support in your transformation? Check out our new Facebook group Purpose Beyond Codependency.

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